I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
