I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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