Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
