Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
