It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
