just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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