watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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