Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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