I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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