my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
