Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
