ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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