i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
