STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
