While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
