Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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