Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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