your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
