Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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