My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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