Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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