I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
