Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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