So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
