You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
