i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
