That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
