My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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