i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
