No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
