Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
