I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We left an ass print on the piano.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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