And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
