I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to align my fucking chakras
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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