Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Two words: blizzard sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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