fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
