I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
