do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
