I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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