I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this boner is exhausting
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
