Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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