Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
