i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
