So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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