tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I AM VODKA MAN
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
