??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
