The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
