When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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