Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
where are my eyebrows?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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