I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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