More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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