I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
