gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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